Where Did Marriage Go after Motherhood?


Irene Alexander  // Genius of the Call

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March 16  

If you’ve ever asked yourself this question, you’re not alone.

When I became a mom, there were times when I started feeling resentful in my marriage. I was so exhausted caring for our kids, and all of a sudden there was so much more household work to do.

Sometimes my husband and I would get into arguments over who does what. Like who gets up with the babies and who gets to sleep. Who gets a break to exercise or have some free time, and who is making sure those toddlers stay out of trouble. 

There were times when I just felt annoyed, like, why do my kids completely bypass dad and walk all the way to the other end of the house to ask me for a snack while I’m in the bathroom? But being a mom means one thing is certain—you will never again get to pee in peace! 

How do I get back to being a bride? I wondered. Underneath my un-styled hair and the yoga pants I slept in the night before was the woman who just yearned to be romanced, pursued, and adored by the love of my life. 

Marriage was for me the pearl of great price for which I would give up all else. I wanted my marriage to be great—the way I always dreamed it would be as a little girl. But something changed in the midst of motherhood . . . and whatever it was, I longed to get my marriage back!

So, I did what I always do when I’m perplexed by a problem: I consulted the “experts.” And that’s when I made a really shocking discovery about the marriage therapy industry . . . why the so-called “experts” are slowly coming out and admitting, “Almost everyone who came to me for help got divorced.”  What?! 

The Catholic “experts” didn’t serve me well either. All I kept hearing was, “Love is not a feeling, it is an act of the will.” 

But let me just ask you something. 

Would it be normal if you said to your husband, “Here’s your breakfast, Honey, but I feel nothing towards you.” 

No. Of course not. 

Not surprisingly, emotional intimacy flourishes by cultivating positive emotions—by bringing back those lovin’ feelings . . . 

But honestly, I rarely hear anyone talk about that, much less, share exactly how to increase the intimacy and tenderness in marriage, year after year, and baby after baby.

That’s why most of what’s out there just didn’t serve me well. 

I felt like no “experts,” sacred or secular, really understood the ache in my feminine heart to be romanced, pursued, and adored as a bride . . . not just once on my wedding day, but always . . . even amidst the chaos of raising kids.

So, I decided that enough is enough, and moms deserve more! 

That’s why I’ve put together an amazing little program for wives and moms like me who want to hear more than, “Love is not a feeling.” It’s for moms who want their marriages to feel super sweet, sexy, joyful, and fun. 

Moms who want easy, actionable insights that are transformative because they are based on what John Paul II calls, “The way of a complementary love.” How a man fulfills a woman’s heart, and she his

I’m talking about his insights on . . .

—why women have a much deeper need for tenderness in marriage (and how to get it);

—why the top secular advice on how to communicate your needs leads to arguing and fighting, and how easy it is to drop that lame advice and inspire your husband to give you love where you want it most; 

—how to get more affection and connection in your relationship;

—how to completely eliminate marriage drama so you have more time and emotional energy to pursue your passions and dreams;  

Since I have experienced such a profound transformation, I am so passionate about helping other moms receive the same!

This is for the moms who want to do less, smile more, and feel more joy, sexual attraction, and intimacy in their relationships. Moms who want to add more laughter, fun, and spice. Moms who may be secretly struggling and don’t know what to do or where to go . . . 

But most of all it’s for the woman who wants to honor the sacred desire of her feminine heart to be pursued, adored, and tenderly loved, not just once in the beginning of her marriage, but always. 

Because my desire as a wife is to be Adored for Life, and I know that’s your desire too.   

 

Irene Alexander, Ph.D. is the founder of Adored for Life, LLC, where she provides an innovative marriage coaching program for wives & moms based on key insights about complementarity: how a man fulfills a woman’s heart, and she his. You can reach her directly at irenealexander@adoredforlife.com or subscribe and get her free podcasts at adoredforlife.com 

 

 

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