To Lose Yourself

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December 17

I was once asked what it was like to lose my body when I was pregnant. I understood where the question was coming from and was sympathetic to the potential fears and frustrations guiding it—bloating, weight gain, back pain, the marathon of labor and delivery, the pressure to bounce back to my pre-pregnant state immediately after birth.

Truly, pregnancy is a radical transformation that can sometimes feel disheartening in its constant demands and changes that are out of my control and all for the sake of another.

But perhaps this is the whole point.

It was during my first pregnancy that I realized concretely that my body was no longer my own—that perhaps it never was mine to begin with. It is, rather, a gift I’ve received that is fulfilled only in its being given away.

Christ tells us that ‘Whoever loses his life for my sake will find it’ (Mt 16:25). Christian mothers, then, find ourselves precisely in this act of losing ourselves—for the sake of Christ, for the sake of our children, and for the sake of building up the kingdom of God.

Rather than resenting the constant demands of motherhood or fearing the inevitable occasions that I can’t control, we are called to imitate Mary in her posture of receptivity. I find it both comical and helpful to imagine how she would respond to the question of what it was like for her to lose her body when pregnant with Jesus. I picture her with open palms, with the Fiat on her lips and a persevering peace in her heart, welcoming what God has willed for her life and blessing the Lord for his generous gifts. And let us not forget that her pregnancy was the means by which God brought about the birth of our Saviour, that her complete and total gift of self to God made her the Mother of God.

As we draw closer to Christmas during this Advent season, let us journey with Mary, whether pregnant or not, opening our hands and hearts to God’s gifts and allowing him to work in and through us always. Let us say with Mary: ‘Let it be it done unto me,’ and let us see our children as the fruit of God’s love in the world.

Proclaim the Genius & Share!

Hailey Skinner

I’m Hailey Skinner, wife to Sam and mother of two littles. I grew up in a happy home where my parents modeled a loving marriage rooted in the Lord. Although my father died when I was young, his work as an OB-GYN, together with my mother’s work at a pregnancy resource center, served as the foundation for a strong conviction to defend the family.
I attended the University of Dallas where I wrote my senior thesis on the dignity of Christian marriage and met my husband while working as officers in the pro-life club.
We spent our first two years of marriage in Rome working for UD’s Rome Program. Our first child was born there, and although he doesn’t have citizenship, we like to think that our love for the Church and good espresso makes us all honorary Italians.
We are now back in Irving, Texas, where we just welcomed our second baby, and I am blessed to live out my dream of staying home to raise our chickens and chase our children… Or maybe it’s the other way around.

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