Sometimes, my child scares me. Is that a bad thing to say out loud? Maybe. But I’m hoping other moms can empathize, if not truly relate.

I have a child who does everything with his whole self. He loves deeply; his excitement is contagious, but his anger and frustration fill the entire room. Sometimes those outbursts and temper tantrums scare me, especially as someone who tends to shy away from her own anger.

I have spent days consumed by the thought of avoiding my child’s anger and outbursts, trying to plan everything in a way that doesn’t set him off. I’ve learned that ultimately, however, his feelings are not something I can control.

Today’s readings speak exactly to this reality. Every other person, even the ones we grow in our own bodies and dedicate our lives to raising, is a separate being with their own will and their own relationship with the Lord. This doesn’t abdicate us of all responsibility. We are called to teach them, guide them, and model for them what a virtuous life in Christ looks like. Ezekiel writes, But if you warn the wicked, trying to turn him from his way, and he refuses to turn from his way, he shall die for his guilt, but you shall save yourself (Ez 33:9).

When my son gets angry, I can redirect him; I can discipline him if that anger spills over into actions against me or others, and I can try to teach him strategies to help him move through his anger well. But ultimately, I cannot take away his anger. And ultimately, as God tells us in today’s readings that we cannot guarantee our children’s place in heaven. While at first this message makes me nervous because I so desperately want to help my children be with the Lord, it also is freeing. I can do my absolute best to catechize my children, but eventually, they will choose for themselves how to act and how to follow the Lord’s will for their lives. I cannot control my child’s anger, and I cannot control his salvation. I can simply love the absolute best I can, and trust that everything else is in the Lord’s good and loving hands. Paul’s words confirm this: Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law (Rom 13:8). Let us love our children, entrust them to the Lord, and rest in the assurance that we have done what God has asked us to do.