She is the most beautiful mother I have ever met. She touches my heart, inspires me to courage, leads the way down the path of suffering, and all the while, she is giving to her five children and husband. She is seated in Christ and our Lady, and knows her dignity as a person, a woman, and a mother . . . and as a surrogate mother for God.
She weeps frequently. She is angry sometimes. She questions and challenges her Father God. She is protective of her children and husband, puts on a smile to comfort her family, and has restless nights . . . more and more. But still she prays, with a sincere, fleshy, and merciful heart.
When she was around four months pregnant, the doctor discovered some anomalies with the pregnancy. Further testing showed that the daughter of her womb, Suzanna Hope, had trouble, possibly Trisomy 13. As the weeks dragged themselves across the calendar, she heard all the things that were wrong with Suzanna Hope’s little body. Sometimes a doctor referred to her daughter as a fetus—these were arrows through her heart. Sometimes the doctor comforted her, supported her, these were times of solace and a balm to her weary heart. Suzanna Hope did have Trisomy 13; she also had many other complications. It was unknown whether Suzanna Hope could make it to term or would live for any length of time on this earth.
Her thoughts battled. She wanted to hold her baby. She wanted her children to meet their sister. She wanted her husband to take his big comforting hands and bring Suzanna close to his heart. She also thought of her struggles with pregnancy, the discomfort, the pains, the sacrifices. Sometimes she thought: “For what? I won’t have a baby when it is all over.” Then she felt guilty; felt sad; felt remorse. And it was then that she heard that she was a surrogate mother for God. It was the word of Truth that made all the difference.
Suzanna Hope is an eternal soul enfleshed—body and soul. She has been called by God, who has known her before the womb. She is. She already is. Even at her birth, she will be no more who she is than who she is right now in the womb of her mother. She is daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, cousin—she is beloved. She is pure love.
As the days melt away to the birthing date, this heroic surrogate mother of God is beautiful—she radiates the beauty of love. She is so strong in the throes of suffering—to wake up each day and carry Suzanna Hope a little closer to her next chapter—to lie down each night, hoping for gentle, refreshing sleep.
When Suzanna Hope comes into this world, she will be held in love. She will be baptized. She will come home to her family. She will be in loving arms until her life pauses at the threshold of death, so that she may go to her eternal home in the arms of a loving Father and carried by her mother Mary. Her precious body will be laid to rest—a tombstone will mark her earthly days.
The days when she brought to many souls the gift of pure love—all she had.
And her surrogate mother will forever remember the gift of carrying Love.