Being the mom of eight children, my mother knew the ups and downs of parenthood as well as anyone. She loved her children fiercely and knew the joy of family life, yet she knew the pains of motherhood as well. When asked about parenting eight children, she once answered, “It’s more. More of everything: more of the suffering and more of the love.”
I think this honest answer is well reflected in today’s Gospel, the parable of the prodigal son. Imagine the grief and uncertainty the father endured during his son’s long absence, toiling over his own dark thoughts of whether he was alive, hungry, or imprisoned. Yet, in the son’s unexpected return, the father, feeling a deep sense of relief and gratitude, embodies unconditional love. It is a love that says I am so grateful you are here – a love that says, no matter what you’ve done, I am glad you are with me again, safe and alive.
For some, like me, this kind of unconditional love does not come naturally. As I consider this, it makes me wonder – could the father have always received this son with this kind of love, or did years of suffering change his heart and birth in him a love grounded in what truly mattered?
Perhaps suffering helped the father experience what real love is. Despite years of uncertainty and maybe even resentment and anger during his son’s absence, the father realized that all he really wanted was his son to be safe and home again. The father’s heart had refined and purified in his suffering, and he received his son with great joy and acceptance, just as our Heavenly Father receives us.
Reflecting on this parable gives me a new appreciation for my mother’s answer because in her statement conveying the “more” of motherhood, she told the truth; yet, that truth also bears in it the deep, albeit difficult reality that even the sufferings my mother alluded to are ways that God uses this vocation to refine and purify so that we can learn to love like the father in the parable. The wayward child, parenting mistakes, and disappointments are not the end of the story. With grace, these crosses inherent in our vocation can transform our hearts into hearts that reflect the love of the Father.
This post inspired me in prayer…wondering and then asking the Holy Spirit to reveal how suffering has helped me to love better. What a gift to receive this awareness with gratitude. Thank you for inviting such thoughtful reflection.