I used to be a Martha. 

As an adult, I have always loved to entertain. I find that interesting because as a child, I was very shy. That might have been a side product of the fact that we moved about every two years or so, but God seemed to have removed my shyness by adulthood. Then, I clearly decided I was ready to be a social butterfly, and Joe and I were always having people over—for holidays, for fun—friends, family, any excuse to have a party. I call the past three decades my “Martha Years” because I was always buzzing around preparing for the gathering and making sure everything ran smoothly during the party. Then, one year the Gospel reading about Martha and Mary came up at Sunday Mass. For some reason, although I had heard this Gospel many times before, that year it gave me pause to ponder. My pondering led me to realize that I was, indeed, Martha. I was so busy doing everything, that I had no time to just simply be with my guests. There was no Mary at my parties! Sadly, that is where my pondering ended. I continued to hold gatherings and to be a Martha. 

Then came the pandemic and most of our larger gatherings ceased, for obvious reasons. My thinking was that after the pandemic, all would return to normal. That doesn’t seem to have happened. During the pandemic, my now adult children established traditions of their own and aren’t here for holidays as much as they once were. Also, and probably more importantly, I had learned to step back and enjoy quieter times. Now, gatherings are fewer and smaller than in the past. Those changes have found me engaging more with my guests. Often, they are invited into the kitchen and actually assist me in cooking and preparing our meal. 

I understand now why, when Martha complains to Jesus that she is doing all the work, she is a bit surprised at his answer. She feels slighted and wants him to tell Mary to help her. Jesus, however, points out to Martha that it is better to spend time with your guests, rather than work without pause. We all should take Jesus’ response to heart and remember that our hospitality and charity include not just serving others, but loving them as well. We are here in this world to love others as Jesus loves us. In order for others to feel our love, we must spend time with them. 

Now, I find myself more a Mary than a Martha, enjoying being with my guests. Although that need to prepare to the nth degree still creeps in occasionally, when it does, I remind myself of Jesus’ words to Martha, and it helps me to choose the better part. 

‘Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her’ (Lk 10:42).