I’ve heard it said that penance sanctifies more when it is chosen for us by God, than when it is something we choose. Relinquishing control and giving trustful surrender to God’s will merits great grace—and is, frankly, the only way to be happy.
I spent five years of my motherhood in crippling depression and anxiety. This was partially due to hormonal changes of pregnancies and postpartums, but the underlying cause was not being able to accept traumas that had happened in my past. I had lived in denial until I had no choice except to face the facts. It was a crushing weight. I went through those years struggling for the will to live, wanting to crawl into a hole and never come out. Only knowing my kids needed me kept me from doing that. I sought spiritual and professional help, and God threw me lifesavers of grace until finally the tsunami had drained away. One of the lifesavers was this verse I read during Eucharistic adoration:
You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my Name, he may give it to you (Jn 15:16).
Through this verse, God opened my eyes to see that he had intentionally and lovingly chosen and appointed me for my life—exactly the way it is. He allowed a traumatic past that I would never have chosen, because he knew that through merciful healing, I can bear eternal fruit and become a more powerful intercessor. When I read the verse, I was given the grace to accept the events of my life exactly as they were. I was given the strength to stop wishing things had been different, and instead, to go and live. I was able to accept the trauma of my past because he had accepted it for me.
God knows what is needed to perfect us and make us abundantly fruitful. He believes in us and refuses to let us sell ourselves short. He calls us to greater heights than we think we can handle. We may feel shaky and unsteady at these heights, but all we have to do is trust him.
We did not choose for the COVID-19 virus to exist; we did not choose for schools and businesses to shut down, for Masses to be canceled, for the countless crosses and sorrows that we now face. But the all-wise, all-loving God has chosen and appointed us for seasons and events that we would not choose. Let’s embrace our present situation with trust, so that we can go and bear lasting fruit, and so that whatever we ask the Father in Jesus’ Name, he may give.
Liz, what a beautiful and meaningful post!
Liz, I appreciate this post! You put things into perspective and quite beautifully!
It’s truly beautiful how God walks us through the days,months and years.
Thank you for sharing!
This is such a life-changing message! There is tremendous grace in accepting God’s will, and I am renewed, through your witness, in my desire and resolve to see my crosses as “chosen” for me. Thank you.
Thank you, Susanna, your words encourage me to keep writing! God is SO GOOD! I pray you will experience His goodness in a special way this Easter season.
What a beautiful reflection on relinquishing control and surrendering to the designs of God’s providence. Thank you for sharing your heart with us!
Thank you for the comment, Irene! Prayers for a very blessed Easter-tide!
You have inspired me to get before the Blessed Sacrament. We follow our instincts to work toward changing and improving things — trying to urge everyone around us, especially our family, to strive for the ideal.
Now it’s time for me to realize that the only ideal is doing God’s will. Open the eyes of my heart, Lord.
Michelle, I’m so glad you’ve found inspiration in what I wrote. That is why I wrote it, in the hopes that the verse would help others with difficult things just like it helped me so much. Good things always happen when we place ourselves in front of the Blessed Sacrament! You are in my prayers!