My whole life, I have been surrounded by the Catholic faith. My grandmother and mother were very pious, passing down the beauty of my Catholic faith to me from an early age.

Later, while I was teaching, I saw many of my high school students who, like me, considered themselves “good Catholics,” appreciating the Catholic faith for its traditions, its origins, its practices and measuring their holiness with the number of “good Catholic” boxes they could check and the vices they could avoid.

Then, early into my motherhood, I heard a homily that struck my heart like an inspiration from our Lord. The priest suggested that we were all called to be saints. While it was probably just a normal Sunday homily for most parishioners, for me, it was the beginning of the most exciting journey of my life. I began to contemplate the grandiose possibility that I could, in fact, become a saint. It seemed strange, but I figured most saints started out as normal people like me anyway. And while the journey has been extremely rewarding, and incredibly demanding, I feel hopeful that I will achieve my lofty aspirations of sainthood, not because of my pious upbringing, my Catholic education, or my commitment to the cause, but because I have come to know Jesus. I have come to know his infinite goodness and incredible love for me. It is not I who will take myself to the heights of sainthood, but it will be the Lord himself, who carries me there through the love he has shown me. Knowing him like I do, I cannot help but want to give him my entire life. 

In the beginning, I used to will for my sainthood by my own strength. I would sit and pray saying, “Lord, increase my capacity to love you.” I would pray it over and over, thinking that I could grow my love. I can remember crying out, “How can we be sustained in the spiritual life?” as I white-knuckled my vices, tried to grow my holiness on my own, and bear all my sufferings. I did this with slow to little progress until I found a quote that essentially said that our ability to love the Lord comes from our understanding of how much we are first loved by him. This was the pivotal first step in my journey. And doesn’t this just make sense? Jesus doesn’t say, “Love me more!” demanding his people to love him, but rather he says to us, “Come to me. Let me love you.” And that’s exactly what he did on the cross, long before we began our journeys seeking him. I learned that it is through Christ’s absolute goodness that we are sustained. It is through his love that is freely given, his body broken for me, and his desire to elevate me to the status of sainthood, not because I will it, but because it is a call to intimacy that is for each and every one of us. We could never be worthy of his love, and this realization grows our hearts so completely that they are no longer recognizable. We become transformed in Christ. 

So, when we feel like we are trying but not getting very far in our spiritual life, are burdened by our faith, or that even the smallest call toward the heights of sainthood is impossible, we must beg the Lord to reveal his love for us. Only then will we be well on our path to becoming saints.