While standing on the street in downtown Indianapolis waiting for Jesus to come, thousands of priests, religious, and bishops processed by, leading the way for our Eucharistic Lord. And thousands more people dropped to their knees as he approached. How beautiful!
Yet my mind goes to another time in history when Jesus entered Jerusalem with Hosannas and palm branches, and praises from his followers, only to be arrested, humiliated, tortured, and crucified a few days later – mostly abandoned. A tear rolls down my cheek.
Would I have been praising, glorifying and proclaiming him king? Would I, too, have abandoned him?
Often in my life I have had spiritual highs, when Jesus seems so close, when the Spirit is moving my heart, when I can “feel” God’s presence. Then what? Do I run home and share the good news? I might possibly share something I saw or heard or felt, but what about the real good news? The news that he is here every day walking with us in Spirit, present IN THE FLESH in every tabernacle, every Eucharistic chapel. Are we praising? Dropping to our knees? Not only can we see him, but in Mass we can receive him, consume him, become one flesh with him, our beloved.
How often do I fret and worry, trying to control and fix and heal, without seeking his assistance. He says, “Come to me all who are weary and are burdened, and I will give you rest” (Mt 11:28). Do I ask? Do I seek?
I’ve tried my whole life to follow Jesus. Sometimes I’m at the hem of his garment begging for healing, but mostly I’m looking at him in the distance, trying to take care of my own stuff. I mean, should I bother him with every insignificant little thing? Yes, I should. He wants more than just my problems; he wants to share my life. He wants to be closer to me than my husband, my children, or my friends. He wants to share my worries, my fears, my sufferings, my joys, my blessings.
How often do I reduce Jesus to a nice thought, a beautiful statue or picture, a warm feeling, or a good idea?
Do I really believe that he is the author of my story? “Thy eyes beheld my unformed substance; in thy book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them“ (Psalm 139:16).
Yet I assume that he hasn’t ordained or at least allowed all that happens in my life. Where is my gratitude? My trust? He knows my needs, my desires, my sorrows. He knows my wounded heart, yet I try to hide my weaknesses, my sins. Is he not a witness to it all?
How can I ever overcome these trials without his help?
What about the days that go by without even a thought toward his will, his divine providence?
I want him to fix everything, yet I keep taking it from his hands, thinking I know better.
I look back and realize how many times I chose my own path or gave advice instead of seeking him, every time I threw my hands in the air instead of laying my problem at his feet, and the times I raged at him instead of accepting with gratitude the opportunities to share in his suffering. I can look at my life and see so many wasted chances, so many wrong paths because of my pride and self-sufficiency. Am I willing to step out of my comfort zone and share him with others? Do I truly believe that all salvation comes through him? “Do you love me? Feed my sheep“ (Jn 21:17). If he is not the center of my life, what is? What in my life is more important, and how will that get me to heaven? Or do I just think I have more time?
I’m willing to follow him into Jerusalem, but am I willing to follow him to Calvary? I need your help, Jesus!
Go to Jesus! Follow Jesus!