I’m bracing my heart for his due date in just a few days.
Our Caleb’s due date. Our precious son who was taken to Heaven at seventeen weeks gestation.
I’ve processed the loss of our son with anger, sadness, and what I felt would be never-ending grief.
And as his due date approaches, knowing I won’t be holding a newborn in my arms, I can hear the Holy Spirit quietly whispering in my soul.
Cling to Mary, he urges.
Cling to Mary. She knows.
Mary knows the love I have for my son. The excitement I felt during his pregnancy and the joy-filled anticipation of his birth.
Mary knows the physical toll of bringing a child into this world, and the dynamic world shift in that moment, as my entire being became focused on that baby.
And Mary knows. She knows the pain of losing a son.
She knows the suffering a mother endures as she watches her beloved baby taken from this life, to be apart from us until we reach eternity.
But Mary also knows that our suffering in this life will sanctify us for the next.
Mary also knows the peace our babies have in Heaven, where they sit triumphantly in God’s arms, praying more for us than we could ever have prayed for them in this life.
And Mary knows. She knows the everlasting joy we will have when we are finally reunited with our children in Heaven.
And so, as the sun rises on Caleb’s due date, I put down the heavy burden of grief I’ve been carrying, and instead, I pick up my rosary and joyfully begin.
Hail Mary, full of grace . . .