Doubt with Grace


May 26  

Every morning begins the same: Up at 6 am and an immediate prayer consumes my mind as I ask God to give me the strength and wisdom needed to conquer another day. “Dear Lord,” I often mumble, “help me be the mom whom my kids need me to be.”  

Then the doubt sets in. “Can I really do this? Oh No! I forgot a teacher’s gift. Will my daughter be embarrassed that she doesn’t have one to give? Ugh! We are late again. Can we just get in the car, already? Why are they fighting? They are always so mean to each other. Why can’t they just be kind and show a little respect? I must be just terrible at teaching them kindness!” 

I am commissioned by God through prayer to go out and guide my kids in discipleship and into sainthood, but doubting every choice I make and every action I take. At different times, this is a typical day along the journey of my motherhood. And I imagine that many moms encounter the same, for it seems that during certain seasons, the journey of motherhood is riddled with doubt, doubt largely created out of our own insecurities as to whether or not we can really do this thing called “motherhood.” 

As I ponder the closing words of the Gospel of Matthew in light of my intermittent seasons of doubt, I am drawn to the incredible faith Christ placed in his disciples. He commissions them to Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, (Mt 16:20), while knowing that the journey for them would be incredibly difficult. Matthew tells us that even they doubted. And yet, Christ trusted them anyway. He believed that with the help of his Holy Spirit they could succeed, and so they did. And so can we.

I cannot help but imagine the incredible sense of wonder and awe Christ’s disciples felt as they stood in the presence of the risen Lord, an experience far beyond their witnessing all the miracles and teachings. Now they themselves are commissioned to go and do likewise, assured that he would be with them every step along the way.  

This commissioning speaks to the transformative power of motherhood as well. We, too, are called to accept the same commission. Even during times of doubt, Christ continues to accompany us in the ways that we need, so that we can be the mothers our children need. We have been entrusted with the incredible responsibility to nurture the children God has sent us. Christ believes in each one of us; so let us go forth and carry on the Good News through our extraordinarily ordinary moments of motherhood. We were made for this. 

Proclaim the Genius & Share!
  • Yes. Amen.
    In today’s Gospel, I think the Holy Spirit is describing each one of us personally: “And seeing Him, they adored, but some doubted.”
    During the Holy Sacrifice on the Altar, I struggle — even though I “see Him,” I “adore Him,” and I doubt!
    All I can say before I consume His Most Precious Body, and in every moment throughout the day: “Lord, I am not worthy that you should come under my roof. But only say the Word and my soul shall be healed, and given strength to do your will.”

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