There are different kinds of spiritual gifts but the same Spirit; there are different forms of service but the same Lord; there are different workings but the same God who produces all of them in everyone. To each individual the manifestation of the Spirit is given for some benefit (1 Cor12:4-7).
One of the things I love about basic math is the certainty of it. Calculating area and volume is easy, solving for x in an equation is simple. The answer is always the same. It’s predictable and uniform. Two is two. It’s never three. And the formulas don’t change over time; they don’t evolve and shift. But once we get to higher level math, it’s not all so predictable and tidy. In fact, it gets so complex, that there’s even an entire branch of mathematics called chaos theory. Although not predictable and tidy, higher level math is fascinating, engaging, and has many applications in numerous fields. It stands on the shoulders of basic math, and then goes far beyond it. My life with six children can be a little chaotic. Imagining things mathematically, I sometimes wish mothering could be more formulaic, predictable, and uniform. In reality, I feel like it’s much more like a branch of chaos theory, and I know I’m not alone in that.
I’m part of a small group of mothers, and one of the things I’ve observed is how many different ways we are living out our vocations. We don’t fit a mold in almost any respect. We have different personalities, gifts, weaknesses, spouses, children, family situations, and callings. Our choices and decisions about how we are mothering and living out the call to holiness are each unique. We have learned a great deal from one another, but our pathways are not alike. Together, we’ve been sounding boards for one another, discerning big things and small: Where and how to school our children; to work or not to work in a given season; how to intervene or not in our teen and adult children’s lives; how to grow in prayer and in relationship with the Lord; and more. As we journey together, I see the Spirit working individually in our lives. While there are parallels and opportunities to learn deeply from one another, our paths are unique.
That uniqueness is a real, tangible good for the world. It is a very good thing that God made us so unique. I think of the Upper Room when all the apostles received the Holy Spirit. They had different callings. Each man was emboldened by the Spirit to spread the Gospel in different ways, in different places, with differing gifts. I’m certain they struggled with doubts, confusion, darkness, and suffering, because they were human, just like us. I’m betting they asked themselves and each other if they were doing the right thing, if they were doing enough, if they were enough. But they loved the Lord, they received the power of the Holy Spirit, and God worked with them for the good of the Kingdom. Think of how far the Gospel was spread, just within their lifetimes, because they said yes to the Spirit, and because each man went wherever God called.
Like the apostles, we are called to submit ourselves to the Holy Spirit, who behaves far more creatively, and yes, sometimes wildly and chaotically, than we could imagine. There are many times when I’d like mothering and discernment to be simpler. I’d like to be more certain that I’m doing the right thing. And in community, it can be tempting to think that our pathways as mothers ought to somehow be more uniform, and the outcomes as certain and predictable as plugging numbers into an equation. But the same God who moves in each of us is calling us to trust the movements of the Spirit in ourselves and others, and to embrace the challenge of our unique calling.
Without a doubt, the basics remain: We are always called to seek the Lord in prayer and in the sacramental life, to entrust our motherhood and our families to Jesus through the Church, and to remain faithful in seeking constant conversion. But beyond that, the Spirit moves and manifests uniquely in each of us. My prayer for each of us this Pentecost is that we embrace the Holy Spirit’s unique call on our lives more fully. That we stand strong with one another in this joyful vocation, unafraid to encourage one another in our uniqueness, and unafraid, like the apostles, to step out and use our gifts for the good of our families and the world, even if it is a little (or a lot) chaotic!
I really enjoyed the math analogy. I love math too. This reflection helped me see in myself how important it is to trust the Holy Spirit’s promptings, even when it takes me out of my comfort zone. Thank you for writing this.