It had been a tough morning. As hard as I tried, I just could not convince our oldest daughter to get ready for a swim party, the same one she had been excited about all week. “Why was she making getting ready so hard?” After several tantrums and a few tears, I finally gave an ultimatum, “Either straighten up and get ready or you are grounded. Not just from the swim party, but all TV, iPad, etc.!” And with tears in her eyes, my oldest handed me her electronics and exclaimed, “Take them! I’m not going!”
An hour later, we were on our way to the party as if nothing had happened. After a few minutes of calming down, she and I decided we could do better. Be better. So off to the party we went, but I still was fuming. I was angry with myself. I was angry that I had given in and let her go. Doubt had settled in, and I had a hard time believing that I had done the right thing.
In motherhood, doubt creeps in constantly. Sometimes we doubt ourselves in how we respond to our child’s outburst, other times it flows in as we contemplate whether we made the right medical decision for our child, chose the right school, or even whether we are just doing okay being a mother to our children. Motherhood is filled with Doubting-Thomas moments. There are many times that it is hard to see whether our decisions will indeed lead to good things. Unless we are offered an opportunity to see the good that will come out of the decisions we make, mothers doubt and worry.
God, however, never abandons us in these moments of doubt. He sends us signs that all will be well. And often, these moments of confirmation come in the most unexpected ways. Even at swim parties after an argument, God gives us just what we need to cleanse ourselves of doubt. It was at the swim party, amid my doubt, that God reminded me that I was doing okay. It was at this party that a parent shared how my daughter had been helping a non-verbal, learning-disabled student in her class at recess and gym. I did not know that she was helping this student and doing so without being asked. If it were not for my decision to let her go to the party, I might not have known for several more weeks, or perhaps not at all.
If you, too, are harboring any doubts, pray and don’t worry. God will reassure you. And when he does, you will be abundantly filled with the joy of knowing that all is—and will be forever—well.